The dual nature of love.

Most of this comes from a Facebook post I wrote some time ago, but I felt the need to brush it off and update it.

To me the most significant part of wedding vows is “I commit to love you”. The important thing to understand about love is it is both a wave and a particle, no wait, that is light. Love is both an emotion and a commitment. They work in tandem and become stronger together when you lead with commitment.
As an emotion Love defines how we feel but often times how we feel is not completely in our control. Emotions are fickle and can be easily swayed by simple things; a song, a look, a place, a smell, all of these things can easily change our emotions. And being easily swayed this is one of the most effective ways Satan can affect our lives. Emotional love often times is selfish, it is jealous, and self seeking, it is easily turned to anger, and often keeps score. This is what I like to think of as lust. Lust is often thought of as bad, but I believe lusting after your spouse can be a good thing….
Love as a commitment however is an entirely different thing and is where the power in love resides. Love as a commitment says I will remain faithful, I will protect you and place your needs and desires before my own regardless of how I feel. Love as a commitment is described well in the scripture 1st Corinthians 13:4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."  It is important to understand when you say your vows that this is the commitment you are making.
These words are easy to say especially when you are young and starry eyed blinded by the emotions that love brings. But in real life when you are tired and the reality that your spouse is a real person who is not perfect but in fact is sometimes a real jerk and your kids won't shut up and give you just 2 seconds of peace and you cannot figure out what it was that made you have any sort of emotional love for this person who is only concerned with their own selfish needs, it is hard to walk out the commitment love. Love is hard, sometimes you are going to feel love sometimes you are going to feel anger, maybe even hate. But if you continue to lead your heart with the commitment of love even when you do not feel it eventually your heart will follow and the reward will be great.