"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
We teach this to our kids. We repeat it like a mantra, trying to armor them against the cruelty of the playground. But if we are being honest, we know it is a complete lie. Bones heal. They knit back together. But words? Words can destroy you completely.
We often forget that words hold legitimate power—both creative and destructive. With the exception of human beings, God made all of creation by simply speaking it into existence. "Let there be light," and there was. He formed man with His own hands and breathed life into us—suggesting a deeper level of intimacy—but that created power of speech is something He shared with us.
Every word that comes out of our mouths carries that weight, yet we often treat that power casually. We focus on the letter of the law—avoiding a specific list of "bad words"—while completely missing the spirit of what we are saying.
About twenty years ago, God spoke to me really clearly about this distinction. At the time, I didn't think I had a problem. I wasn't mean with my words, and I didn't throw swear words around flippantly. In fact, it was rare for a "bad word" to ever come out of my mouth.
I was spending the summer in Nevada for a job, and my wife Gina and I decided to take a trip to a nearby opal mine. On the way there, we passed signs warning us about the wild donkeys in the area. Naturally, the jokes started coming.
I took a bunch of pictures and even made a photo album that I titled the "Wild A** Trip." I was cracking jokes like, "Get off my a**." I felt completely fine doing it. I justified it to myself: That is a completely legitimate word for a donkey. It’s in the dictionary! The Bible even uses the word!
I felt safe. I was technically following the rules.
But then God spoke to my heart. He highlighted the fact that while I was using the word in its correct context, I was laughing because I had found a loophole. I wasn't using the word to describe an animal; I was using it because I found a "permissible" way to be profane. My intent was to be edgy, and so in my heart, I was not choosing Godliness.
God began to show me that profanity is more about our heart condition than the actual vocabulary list we use.
Every "curse word" generally has a legitimate origin. But by the same token, we can take regular, even beautiful words, and make them profane if our heart is wrong. We see this all the time in the South. The phrase "Bless your heart" sounds polite, but depending on the tone, it can be just as profane and cutting as any four-letter word.
It isn't about the letters; it’s about the spirit behind them.
We have to be careful, precise, and intentional. It is easy to misspeak and hurt someone unintentionally with a misplaced word. But more importantly, we have an opportunity to use this power for good.
Sticks and stones can build amazing structures, sure. But words? Words can create things of unspeakable beauty. Let’s build with them. (Ephesians 4:29)
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